at.yamomzcrib.com

First, a song…

[audio:inviseez-haggendaj.mp3]
The Inviseez – Haggen Daj (swiped from the lovely/talented/resourceful DJ Tara of sugarcuts.com)

Now, a story…

Not too long ago, I came across a grip of new Melyssa Ford Photos for King Magazine featuring quite a fantastic pose. There are a great deal of remarkable details in this picture, but I think we can all agree that the pose itself makes the picture. I had to note that I had seen something very similar before at the always great Zigga Zagga Productions. As following with the New York Times guidelines, we’ve seen in the past, although two is a coincidence, it’s best to wait until you get that third to call it a trend. This also helps make a solid post. Luckily, while blackberry rss feed hopping earlier, I came across this final image from The Dynasty Series which allows me to form a set.

Now, recently, a russian lass took the internet by storm by whaletailing the world – inspiring spinoffs, remixes and global glasnost. Now, photographers, you’ve got the new black to add to your lil’ snap happy sessions.

UPDATE: looks like photographers did take note. The photo works w/everything from a lil’ bitty Pixie poke to a tremendous, astounding Maliah Michel underhang.

[audio:stateproperty-oceansseven.mp3]
State Property – Ocean’s Seven

(more…)

so, i saw some recent photos of AnnaLynne McCord, who i know as Eden from one of the best horrible shows on the television – Nip/Tuck ((sidebar: the fuck is up w/Kanye letting the folks at Nip/Tuck use “Flashing Lights” to promote the sixth season of his show after his mom passed due to complications w/plastic surgery?)). when i saw her, all i could think of was how she would make a great “Famine.” doubting the Apocalypse/four horsemen storyline could ever translate to film and w/nothing else to do w/these pics of Skinny McRibbones, i decided to cast the rest of the 4 horsemen as celebrities in bikinis. because, this is the internet and that’s how things work.

so, w/out any other explanation – here goes:
AnnaLynne McCord – Famine.
Amy Winehouse – Death.
Jodi Marsh, Aubrey Oday, Pam Anderson & Shauna Sand – Pestilence.
Serena Williams – War.

i wrote more to explain why i picked who i did, but, truthfully, i think dwelling on the funny erases any real humor there may be in this joke.

recently, several blogs have been up in clogs over that most delicious invention, the ground bacon burger.  as a lover of the swine ((seriously, one one of the first conversations w/my now wife — a lover of all things baduey and headwrappen’in — i asked if she ate of the glorious pig.  as you can see, she answered correctly)) i’ve got a google alert setup ((not seriously)) to inform me of creative uses of pork. here’s a handy dandy guide to go beyond the norm and what can be read in a book so that you can truly harness the power of ham.

first, before consuming any of that delectable cat-rat-dog, display your love of bacon by wearing a bacon scarf (or try this style).  this can also double as a means to make a quick escape if caught stealing the bacon from your neighbors plate at an ihop. for some of you tight pants wearing ass niggas or for the lil’ she-piggy lover in your life, you can cop this discreet BLT ring.  for ladies that are a bit more, adventurous, you can always rock the bacon bra or bikini top.

on to the food…the following idea, i believe was independently discovered while trying to push the limits of bacon baking.  the first practitioner shows bacon weaving, a critical method for taking bacon to the next level in sandwichery while the next, bacon molding renders breadbowls utterly useless.  combining a staggered bacon weave and some creative bacon molding ushers in the dawn of bacongami and i joyously await for bacon shaped arks filled with lil’ pigs in a blanket.  seriously, i can’t think of anything sexier.

if you followed the above instructions and constructed a lil’ salad inside of your new bacon bowl and you’re worried that your salad might be a lil’ too healthy, you can go the traditional route and add some homemade bacon bits, or, you can sprinkle it w/a bit of this fantastic bacon salt. available in 3 wondrous flavors. even though it’s zero calories and fat, hopefully the flavor can trick us into thinking it’s fattening.

now, to help wash down this pörkgÃ¥sbord, why not try a bloody mary made with jalapeno/bacon infused vodka?  i swear i’ve heard Jay rap “drunk of swine/ mami on P ((for peppers))” before, so i’m sure this would go over well at the snazziest of events.

[audio:jayz-ijustwannaloveyou.mp3]
shout outs to omillio.

and, finally, bacon as dessert. if you’re on the go and would like to savor your bacon — bacon pops, for those of you not suffering in this heatwave, who don’t worry about melting of the subsequent pounds we have this remarkable snack sensation, and, of course, bacon + maple + donut. understanding that some of these may be a bit extreme for you, the great grocery eats brings it home with bacon ice cream.

UPDATED:

so, your rockin’ a bacon scarf, drank a bacon mojito and finished it off w/a lil’ bacon frusen gladje but now you’ve got to worry about your hygiene.  no worries, dentist recommended,  fat boy approved – be sure to take care of of those pearly whites w/a lil’ something we call bacon floss.

no shame — anybody that knows me knows that i have a potentially hazardous obsession with women’s clothes. not on some hoover, but more so to figure out these birds maneuvers. the follow up novella to the book i never released is called, “‘the ‘flage: uncovering women’s secret techniques.” i sincerely believe that what women choose to wear is a great indicator to the type of lass you’re dealing with ((that was my desperate attempt to make my preoccupation w/the ladies gear seem as masculine as possible.)).

so, one of my favorite things to find in my feed is a are you feeling this get up?, who rocked it better or who runs it? i see their is a niche market for clothing comparisons and have been giving some serious thought about launching the utterly fantastic blog — hoesinthesameclothes.

even though actresses, models & musicians may have some sort of issue w/b’n referred to as hoes — it’s somewhat ironic that actual factual hoes don’t have an issue wearing the same clothes ((i admit, i may be the only one to see the irony)).

gallery after the jump