Usher f. Nicki Minaj – Little Freak
blogs are goin’ goofy over minaj’s appearance in mimi’s video, which might mean that nick cannon is closer to “having a menage” than ursher even though it’s clearly something that “everybody loves raymond” has been pining for lately
so, i saw some recent photos of AnnaLynne McCord, who i know as Eden from one of the best horrible shows on the television – Nip/Tuck. when i saw her, all i could think of was how she would make a great “Famine.” doubting the Apocalypse/four horsemen storyline could ever translate to film and w/nothing else to do w/these pics of Skinny McRibbones, i decided to cast the rest of the 4 horsemen as celebrities in bikinis. because, this is the internet and that’s how things work.
so, w/out any other explanation – here goes:
AnnaLynne McCord – Famine.
Amy Winehouse – Death.
Jodi Marsh, Aubrey Oday, Pam Anderson & Shauna Sand – Pestilence.
Serena Williams – War.
i wrote more to explain why i picked who i did, but, truthfully, i think dwelling on the funny erases any real humor there may be in this joke.
another year and another opportunity for nice young respectable ladies to unleash their inner skank in the guise of all hallows eve. like moths to the flame — candy corn and free admission for ladies in costume compels young coeds, coworkers and convention cosplayers to don boots you shouldn’t walk in, fantastic plastics and questionable headgear in celebration of their repressed fantasies.
although an occasional young lass manages to emerge from the pile of cheap accessories looking like a star, the majority of the people shooting for the moon end up lost in space. to help these ladies, i’ve compiled a list of the top 5 costume ideas that they should avoid at all costs. the idea is either overdone (there will be someone else at the party dressed just like you), not as sexy as she thinks (lady cops? lady, stop.) or way too difficult to pull off (hint – episode 4).
honorable mention – cheerleader.
the sexy cheerleader is the leading choice for sexy sports/athletics related costumes. there are plenty of options for the lady who wants to show off her sexy & playful side whilst giving in to her partner’s fantasy to plug his favorite athlete. the lingerie bowl gave us sexy football players, mariah showed us how a basketball jersey can become sexy, but none of these have the staying power of the sexy cheerleader.
why they just missed the list.
the thing about cheerleaders, is, they are oft-times sexy. so, although not every girl in a cheerleader outfit is sexy, most real life cheerleaders are. just look at these cheerleaders in halloween costumes. cheerleader in halloween costume vs regular lady in cheerleader costume is about as unfair as last Sunday’s Patriots-Redskins game. the sports genre also holds a few real-life sexy individuals like that volleyball chick, assketball sensation dnika romero, & various forms of questionably sexy bodybuilders, gymnasts & tennis stars.
we’ve all seen the photos in our various men’s magazines… a woman goes sans top but uses some sort of prop to hide her nipples/areola so that the mag can still sit on the shelves at your local Barns & Noble w/out the shame of a polybag. it’s a fantastic technique that gives you more boob for your buck and makes the photographer seem creative even if that creativity is only being used as an excuse to get some air on those puppies.
Honorable Mention: the surface-bra.
whether up against a wall, mirror or the convenient edge of a well cropped photo, the use of an obstructing surface is quite possibly the “classiest” way to take the topless pic. it’s a tasteful way to leave a lil’ to the imagination, unless, of course, we’re talking about our girl Coco .
5. the belt-bra.
the first cover of my first dotcom was to feature this fantastic belt bra picture of Hollywood of G.L.O.W. fame. instead, i decided to mimic the chromium covers of my comic book collecting days. i learned a fantastic lesson — belt-bras are a fantastic idea but are difficult to execute correctly in real life w/out looking like a complete idiot. not only is it something that looks better in anime/hentai settings but also on women w/substantially less boobage than i prefer.