six degrees of (not kevin) bacon.

recently, several blogs have been up in clogs over that most delicious invention, the ground bacon burger.  as a lover of the swine ((seriously, one one of the first conversations w/my now wife — a lover of all things baduey and headwrappen’in — i asked if she ate of the glorious pig.  as you can see, she answered correctly)) i’ve got a google alert setup ((not seriously)) to inform me of creative uses of pork. here’s a handy dandy guide to go beyond the norm and what can be read in a book so that you can truly harness the power of ham.

first, before consuming any of that delectable cat-rat-dog, display your love of bacon by wearing a bacon scarf (or try this style).  this can also double as a means to make a quick escape if caught stealing the bacon from your neighbors plate at an ihop. for some of you tight pants wearing ass niggas or for the lil’ she-piggy lover in your life, you can cop this discreet BLT ring.  for ladies that are a bit more, adventurous, you can always rock the bacon bra or bikini top.

on to the food…the following idea, i believe was independently discovered while trying to push the limits of bacon baking.  the first practitioner shows bacon weaving, a critical method for taking bacon to the next level in sandwichery while the next, bacon molding renders breadbowls utterly useless.  combining a staggered bacon weave and some creative bacon molding ushers in the dawn of bacongami and i joyously await for bacon shaped arks filled with lil’ pigs in a blanket.  seriously, i can’t think of anything sexier.

if you followed the above instructions and constructed a lil’ salad inside of your new bacon bowl and you’re worried that your salad might be a lil’ too healthy, you can go the traditional route and add some homemade bacon bits, or, you can sprinkle it w/a bit of this fantastic bacon salt. available in 3 wondrous flavors. even though it’s zero calories and fat, hopefully the flavor can trick us into thinking it’s fattening.

now, to help wash down this pörkgåsbord, why not try a bloody mary made with jalapeno/bacon infused vodka?  i swear i’ve heard Jay rap “drunk of swine/ mami on P ((for peppers))” before, so i’m sure this would go over well at the snazziest of events.

[audio:jayz-ijustwannaloveyou.mp3]
shout outs to omillio.

and, finally, bacon as dessert. if you’re on the go and would like to savor your bacon — bacon pops, for those of you not suffering in this heatwave, who don’t worry about melting of the subsequent pounds we have this remarkable snack sensation, and, of course, bacon + maple + donut. understanding that some of these may be a bit extreme for you, the great grocery eats brings it home with bacon ice cream.

UPDATED:

so, your rockin’ a bacon scarf, drank a bacon mojito and finished it off w/a lil’ bacon frusen gladje but now you’ve got to worry about your hygiene.  no worries, dentist recommended,  fat boy approved – be sure to take care of of those pearly whites w/a lil’ something we call bacon floss.

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