“Waiting for the lord to rise I look into my daughters eyes
And realize that I’ma learn through her
The Messiah might even return through her
If I’ma do it, I gotta change the world through her”
Common - “Be”
recently, several blogs have been up in clogs over that most delicious invention, the ground bacon burger. as a lover of the swine i’ve got a google alert setup to inform me of creative uses of pork. here’s a handy dandy guide to go beyond the norm and what can be read in a book so that you can truly harness the power of ham.
first, before consuming any of that delectable cat-rat-dog, display your love of bacon by wearing a bacon scarf (or try this style). this can also double as a means to make a quick escape if caught stealing the bacon from your neighbors plate at an ihop. for some of you tight pants wearing ass niggas or for the lil’ she-piggy lover in your life, you can cop this discreet BLT ring. for ladies that are a bit more, adventurous, you can always rock the bacon bra or bikini top.
on to the food…the following idea, i believe was independently discovered while trying to push the limits of bacon baking. the first practitioner shows bacon weaving, a critical method for taking bacon to the next level in sandwichery while the next, bacon molding renders breadbowls utterly useless. combining a staggered bacon weave and some creative bacon molding ushers in the dawn of bacongami and i joyously await for bacon shaped arks filled with lil’ pigs in a blanket. seriously, i can’t think of anything sexier.
if you followed the above instructions and constructed a lil’ salad inside of your new bacon bowl and you’re worried that your salad might be a lil’ too healthy, you can go the traditional route and add some homemade bacon bits, or, you can sprinkle it w/a bit of this fantastic bacon salt. available in 3 wondrous flavors. even though it’s zero calories and fat, hopefully the flavor can trick us into thinking it’s fattening.
now, to help wash down this pörkgåsbord, why not try a bloody mary made with jalapeno/bacon infused vodka? i swear i’ve heard Jay rap “drunk of swine/ mami on P” before, so i’m sure this would go over well at the snazziest of events.
shout outs to omillio.
and, finally, bacon as dessert. if you’re on the go and would like to savor your bacon — bacon pops, for those of you not suffering in this heatwave, who don’t worry about melting of the subsequent pounds we have this remarkable snack sensation, and, of course, bacon + maple + donut. understanding that some of these may be a bit extreme for you, the great grocery eats brings it home with bacon ice cream.
UPDATED:
so, your rockin’ a bacon scarf, drank a bacon mojito and finished it off w/a lil’ bacon frusen gladje but now you’ve got to worry about your hygiene. no worries, dentist recommended, fat boy approved - be sure to take care of of those pearly whites w/a lil’ something we call bacon floss.
over breakfast that included mimosas.
not for me mind you, ime a fuckin’ dude.
but she seemed really happy that day.
it was straight out of one of those independent films.
young broke black kids.
beautiful jawn.
overconfident nerd dude.
i can’t even remember the other person at the table.
like, not at all, not ever the gender.
something is telling me it was another woman.
she always got the brunt of the jokes when she was the only chick.
she held her own though.
i always talked too much over food and didn’t eat enough.
she might have picked up the tab too.
this is a good memory.
i forgot about it.
this omar song is playing.
one of you cornball audiogalaxy okp motherfuckers sent it to me.
it reminded me of the *much better* stevie song.
but, i can’t remember that song to save self.
when i do though, and i download it ime gonna put that shit on repeat.
the song is over now…
‘flowers’ just shuffled up.
“straight up colorful draws, mad whores on the weekend…”and, that’s how life is, “i broke up w/my ex on some bachelor shit/ now ime killin’ two birds with the same dick…”
i went through my okp folder today. eventually, i’ll need to save those files over here. i still can’t find the shit i wrote about common’s lwfc album cover. i’d like to say i’m waiting to get my hands on that as some kind of excuse as to why i haven’t created a means of reproducing some of these “classics,” but, me and you both know it’s a lie.
stay classy, netfriends.
tiombe lockhart - gp
this is dedicated to 2008.
2007 was good, and all, but oh, ate…
“i need you to be the one/
not another one/”
‘07 was highlighted by hot shots tennis, black milk, gianna, a move back to philly and, some shit that’d make John Stewart cry. in oh eight, i look forward to stability. alas…
“bliss seems so far away/
can’t seem to change our way/“
“i’m coming home again.
do you think about me now and then?
do you think about me now and the en enn…
cause i’m coming home again.
cuh ming home uh gen.”
this dude had a ton of photos, but, a fairly disgusting watermark, as well.
