Category: complaints department (12).

watermelon car, watermelon guts.

02.26.2009

[audio:rashad-tellthemwhattheywanttohear.mp3]

in case you weren’t sure what the trend is for the upcoming spring/summer season, here’s a few photos of what’s leading the pack.

so, go get your silkscreens & inks and join in. you’ve still got time to press out a few. all the cool kids are doing it.

pander bear.

09.07.2008

“pander bear” © fire.

pics courtesy of wonkette, and the tubes that power the internets.

of destros and men.

06.26.2008

so, recently, pics of destro in the new gi joe movie have leaked. and, they are complete shit. i understand holding “the mask” back because it doesn’t “go” w/the new look of the film, but you could have easily shot this rat faced bastard from behind wearing the mask and made a few gazillions of fanboys happy.

since youth, all of us of a darker persuasion have believed destro was black.  whether because of the voice actor, them thick ass lips on the mask ((shout out to that savalas look)) or because of his fantastic pimp hat and cane ((peep updated versions over here)).

now i’m not sure of the ethnicity of the destro in the following video, but i do know he honors the mask and doesn’t appear to have the same traits of bitchassness that the other guy does.

the swarovski mask way.

05.28.2008

[audio:50cent-skimaskway.mp3]

recently, the googles provided me a couple of examples of some really idiotic uses of swarovski crystals. i, like most of you, probably had no idea what swarovski “crystals” were until the great cellphone craze of ’06. like you, i too was happy of having a quick and easily identifiable way to dump the “idiotech” stamp on a chick from 35 paces and keep it moving through the local mall.

since i’ve found out that these things are expensive as all fuck, and that you can find swarovski stores in some of your higher end malls i’ve been struggling with trying to understand how this came to be.  can anybody explain to me why people would spend hard earned money to have something emblazoned w/swarovski crystals? what, outside of idiotic stuntage, is the appeal of name brand rhinestones? is there another opportunity to sell something cheap & gaudy at an inflated cost w/an appealing foreign name that hasn’t been used yet?

if so, i’m all in.
seriously.  i’m there.

how to get ahead in the music biz.

05.15.2008

these photos ((what a shitty watermark, dudes.)) of the diddlez and cassie hit the net earlier in the week, causing all sorts of discussions about puff’s wrongness, cassie’s talent and whether or not those discussing it had the right to offer an opinion on the subject. around the same time, el-p’s we’reallgonnaburninhellmegamixx 2 ((two… two… two…)) hit the net, causing me to pop my copy of fantastic damage in and give it another listen. which brings me, you and them to this…

[audio:elp-theoverlydramatictruth.mp3]
you think i’m a genius, i know i’m a whore…

that song, right there, encapsulates almost every thing i could say about the photos and the act.

and to tie a nice, neat bow around all this, let’s reference, bdp via the roots, kellz finally going to court, and Bill Murray, just because i get to post a picture of Scarlett Johansson.