how do you fuck a mermaid?
Thursday, 04.19.2007 23:02 |
ever since i saw this image, i have been more than a little bit interested in finding out how mermaids became the sexy representation for werefish. obviously, this tentacle haired squidskank has everything necessary to provide her partner w/an evening of sweet sensual sea sex. nice lips, ample bosom, and probably some incredible poon. take a lil’ time and give this some serious thought — swimming around in the depths of the ocean would help to keep it tight and you wouldn’t have to waste money or time on lubes. assuming, in accordance w/all existing male fantasies, that she’d be ready to go at the drop of an unbaited line, we are talking about the ultimate partner for those long voyages across the seas.
but, that’s not how things are. in actuality, it is the mermaid that has become the principle object of half-fish/half-woman affection. from tattoos to fan-fiction to big budget hollywood films.
now i’ve spent a lil’ bit of time w/google images. i’m sure some of you reading this right now have as well. (how else would you get here?) but i am yet to see how one can fuck a mermaid.
blowjobs? sure, no prob. if you can get past the fact that her hands are gonna be a bit scaly and it’ll feel like a cheap snakeskin belt is being drug across your balls as she tries to cup them, then, sure — a mermaid blowjob sounds like a fantastic idea.
tittyfuck? that works. you could sit at the edge of the pool, she’d keep her body inside and could make some crazy waves. i bet that’d be real calm and relaxing. in fact, i think this is the best possible sex you could have w/a mermaid. maybe a lil’ bj/tf combination as she creates soothing wave after wave. put a lil’ robin thicke on in the background, grease your nipples up w/fish oil — it’d be a fantastic time.
but, what about the good ol’ fashion? a lil’ bit of tab A into slot B? you can’t do that w/a mermaid, chief. take another look at the legs, or, lack thereof. ain’t no fuckin’ a mermaid.
maybe that’s what makes it sexy to some of y’all. that whole unrequited love, unfulfilled desire, untap(able)ped potential. but, yeah, i’m not made of that material. sexy is that which can receive a stiff cocking. you know, like, on a “deep root level.” i believe that there is no bottom deeper than the deep blue sea, save maybe deepest darkest africa, hwvr, mermaids are the ken slab of fantasies.
if you must resort to aqua based wet dreams, stick to atlantans. in almost every interpretation, they have legs and a functional coont. sometimes, they’re blue — in those situations, golden shower & get your kirk on.
April 24th, 2007 at 4:22
you’re doing good work over here.
February 11th, 2009 at 2:06
I was just wondering the same thing! There’s no legs, therefore no where to stick it in. I appreciate your thoughtful answers.
May 9th, 2009 at 5:50
u people r filthy butt plugs 4 thinking a mermaid is real and that screwing one is out of th question :P so go fuck yerselves
June 16th, 2009 at 11:49
Right?!
I really have a thing for mermaids, I really, really do, but… how do I fuck it!?
November 18th, 2009 at 11:07
id fuck a mermaid but where do you put it in ???
February 9th, 2010 at 8:49
i think fish have a vag and mermaids are 1/2 fish
February 18th, 2010 at 6:32
Dolphins have penis. Merman can have too, and Mermaids must have something. So tab A can go into slot B ;)
February 28th, 2010 at 10:55
I’ve wondered the same thing. . ever since I heard the Lonely Island Boys song “I’m On a Boat” and T-Pain says “And believe me when I say I fucked a mermaid” my best friend and I cannot stop wondering. . .how the fuck do you do that?! This did help. . but still. . he says that if she has like somewhere you can pee, you can fuck it. . I found that creepy. . but. . whatever. haha.
May 7th, 2010 at 6:21
I fucked a mermaid. (:
June 16th, 2010 at 11:38
How tall is Daryl Hannah anyway?;,-
July 17th, 2010 at 12:09
i would like evryone to know that mermaids arnt just a sex object
but a beautfiul thing in life
they do exist
i have titty fucked one before
so they are real
excuse me person up the top who said this is disgusting
ur probably a 100 old man
waiting for a lil mermaid girl
and then prounce on her
which is disgusting
mermaids are sexier than human beings
i love them
September 3rd, 2010 at 7:58
I WANTS FUCK MERMAID NOW!
October 9th, 2010 at 3:28
Yeah well I’m sure mermaids are real and they must have holes for mermen and randy sailors to fuck.
Damn, now I wanna go to the ocean and find one (cuz it just has to be that easy) and ride her with my cock as she takes me on erotic oceanic oddessy.
Mmmm, now that’s a fantasy that’s crying out for the talents of hentai artists.
August 25th, 2011 at 11:19
I typed in google “i fucked a mermaid” which is what tpain says in lonely island song….thats how i got here,good post,it makes me wonder how you would fuck a mermaid,even if she had a hole,it would probably be scaly and hard :/.
October 2nd, 2011 at 4:23
ok mermaid has hands (hand job) mouth and tongue (blow job) breasts. (titty fucking) even armpit sex lol (more like a side boob fuck lol. all this can done with a real girl as well . unless its the mermaid from splash she can turn her tail into legs….also the mermaids off of one piece and little mermaid her tail becomes legs
November 3rd, 2011 at 12:35
Imagine this…. She has vagina where human female does, but on her tail instead between her legs. Just put your legs around her tail and fuck away =) Would be nice to swin while doing this…
December 29th, 2011 at 9:06
Wow this really puts it out there ima girl and straight but I was wonderin now if I find one I just might envy her cause almost every guy I know wants to fuck a fucking meremaid like what the hell!!she’s a fucking fish!!!!!
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:17
What happens when you have sex with a mermaid in her human form and her legs become wet (like from your or her cums)? Wouldn’t your penis might get stuck in her tail?
November 19th, 2012 at 5:20
Yes the BJ and Tf would be great but there is a chance for a normal sex if she is like Ariel from the Little Mermaid. i think a sex with siren is better than a mermaid.
December 11th, 2012 at 2:12
Assuming a mermaid is related to a shark (please) you raise her fin and thrust your erect penis into her cloaca similar to the Kama Sutra Mermaid position with human women. Keep a post coitus cream ready to rub into penis from fish scale burns.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:30
i guess mermaids are sweet!
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