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ever since i saw this image, i have been more than a little bit interested in finding out how mermaids became the sexy representation for werefish. obviously, this tentacle haired squidskank has everything necessary to provide her partner w/an evening of sweet sensual sea sex. nice lips, ample bosom, and probably some incredible poon. take a lil’ time and give this some serious thought — swimming around in the depths of the ocean would help to keep it tight and you wouldn’t have to waste money or time on lubes. assuming, in accordance w/all existing male fantasies, that she’d be ready to go at the drop of an unbaited line, we are talking about the ultimate partner for those long voyages across the seas.

but, that’s not how things are. in actuality, it is the mermaid that has become the principle object of half-fish/half-woman affection. from tattoos to fan-fiction to big budget hollywood films.

now i’ve spent a lil’ bit of time w/google images. i’m sure some of you reading this right now have as well. (how else would you get here?) but i am yet to see how one can fuck a mermaid.

blowjobs? sure, no prob. if you can get past the fact that her hands are gonna be a bit scaly and it’ll feel like a cheap snakeskin belt is being drug across your balls as she tries to cup them, then, sure — a mermaid blowjob sounds like a fantastic idea.

tittyfuck? that works. you could sit at the edge of the pool, she’d keep her body inside and could make some crazy waves. i bet that’d be real calm and relaxing. in fact, i think this is the best possible sex you could have w/a mermaid. maybe a lil’ bj/tf combination as she creates soothing wave after wave. put a lil’ robin thicke on in the background, grease your nipples up w/fish oil — it’d be a fantastic time.

but, what about the good ol’ fashion? a lil’ bit of tab A into slot B? you can’t do that w/a mermaid, chief. take another look at the legs, or, lack thereof. ain’t no fuckin’ a mermaid.

maybe that’s what makes it sexy to some of y’all. that whole unrequited love, unfulfilled desire, untap(able)ped potential. but, yeah, i’m not made of that material. sexy is that which can receive a stiff cocking. you know, like, on a “deep root level.” i believe that there is no bottom deeper than the deep blue sea, save maybe deepest darkest africa, hwvr, mermaids are the ken slab of fantasies.

if you must resort to aqua based wet dreams, stick to atlantans. in almost every interpretation, they have legs and a functional coont. sometimes, they’re blue — in those situations, golden shower & get your kirk on.