viking style.

in short, viking style is the act of perching atop a cistern and vomiting downward betwixt one’s feet into the bowl below. one sits in a position similar to “an upper decker” —. as invention sends it’s mother’s day cards to necessity, i’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that this technique was not developed by a think tank, brainjar, or amadeus cho. to put it simple1

so, after stompling2 around the five spot for god knows how many minutes, i got that wayne’s world squiggly line feeling emitting from my stomach area. i calmly walked to the bathroom area, knowing the puke was on it’s way and prepared to assume the position…

praying to the porcelain god

but, like is all to common in public restrooms, i was greeted w/the muck and couldn’t imagine myself placing my jeans in puddles of other men’s piss. but, the duke of earl was blowin’ up my sidekick. what was there for me to do?

Call Earl.

that’s correct, my friends. like the great warriors of days past who could not handle their mead, i ventured to the side of mt. porcelain, and, nay, i would not drop to thine knees and send prayers to thy gods… i would sit atop a mighty throne and pour out a bit of partially digested foodbits into the awaiting chasm below.

as is typical, after such a mighty accomplishment. i decided to rest my weary head and reflect on how, exactly, i got to a place that caused me to climb to a place where few have traveled before. during my moment of ponderance, i was discovered by some of my loyal subjects, atop of my throne and when the question was asked, i merely uttered…

Viking Style

notes:
  1. cue epmd – “too much to drink” []
  2. stompling is the act of confidently stumbling through a club. it typically occurs immediately after stumbling from drink then attempting to “play it off” by stompling on purpose as if you were faking the first stumble. this is similar to the light jog that breaks out after people trip while walking on public streets. []