and, apparently, that love is reciprocated. their upcoming single, “Reacharound,” is gonna bang in the clubs.
Blog
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“sidearm,” my colostomy bag.
that’s a crock of shit.
i’ve been dealing w/my “sidearm” for the past 3 years now and it’s tough for me to meet people. because of this, i stopped goin’ to the clubs, workin’ out at the gym and doing all the other things that used to bring me into contact with attractive young ladies. so, i started using online dating services.
after a few, through craigslist, i was able to find a nice forum that was filled with understanding people who were either suffering w/the same problem or sympathetic.
so, me and “Mahogany” met at www.brownthighedgirls.com on the DatScat! board. she was into the same music as i was, liked video games and got a special tingle when i unleashed the bag’s chunky goodness upon her. she *really* liked it when i would pour it into her shoes and leave it there as a surprise for her.
eventually, we got engaged and i looked forward to the day that we would live as man & wife. about a week away from our special day, she goes on her bachelorette party and apparently, her girlfriends (nasty sluts that they are) payed the dancer to take a crap on her belly. she said the fresh warm soft-serve was the best she had ever had and that she was going to leave me.
i tried to find out what was in that guys diet in an attempt to win her back. i even began dumping my bag in her gas tank and writing letters on her windshield. it didn’t work and eventually she moved out of the city w/out telling me.
i loved her.
i still miss her to this day. -
let swagger die.
somewhere around the time that cam’ron decided to hold a press conference to discuss the chancleta issue, the word “swagger” should have received the pete rose treatment.
swagger at some point referred to a specific type of movement one would make when walking. over the years, due to the dynamic nature of language, swagger has transformed into not just a style but the undeniability of success in style. both the cocky athlete & the boastful rapper are harbingers of swagger. the worldwide leader and hip-hop have both marketed swagger as an acceptable & unacceptable product to be consumed by the masses. the aforementioned athletes & entertainers along w/politicians, cooks & your grandma’s lawn clogs are all said to have some form of swagger. if everybody has swagger, then how is anybody with it special? because of it’s overuse, the word swagger has become omnipresent and has lost all meaning.
i wish i could call for a moratorium, but i feel we are way beyond that point. we need to erase this word from our collective vocab now. i know it’s gonna be difficult for so many of you that have relied on swagger to describe everything from the reaction after a referee’s technical foul call to the new design of the cherry coke can but i’m here to help you.
here’s some ways to show swagger w/out saying swagger [continue »]
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top (twenty)five dead or alive.
so, straight bangin’ put out a call to list the greatest 25 hip hop records of all time. i’m pretty sure i’ve missed the cutoff point for submissions, but it’s a slow(er) workday and i put in some work at organizing my list.
as much as i respect kane, ll, fresh prince, bdp, etc… i only want to list albums that i own and have had the ability to bang over and over again through the years. now i recognize the greatness of momma said & criminal minded, but i never bought ’em, and because of that, neither holds the same place in my heart as my scratchless boogiemonsters disk. honeydips in gotham isn’t the same anthem as jimmy, but it certainly got more spins in my house.
the first cd(s) i ever bought was epmd’s business never personal and pete rock & cl smooth’s mecca & the soul brother. it doesn’t take a mcScholar to tell you which one of those two have stood the test of times. i had tapes before then, but most of those were dubs from friends & family. the best part about dubs was that you only had to get the tracks you liked. so when i started to look back at some of the “albums” that i thought i remembered, i was a bit off — basically, if somebody had two good albums, i would grab all the songs i liked and throw them together. in modern terms, itunes & playlists are causing this same problem.
UPDATED. work is still slow and i’ve been able to add commentary to the list.
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how do you fuck a mermaid?
ever since i saw this image, i have been more than a little bit interested in finding out how mermaids became the sexy representation for werefish. obviously, this tentacle haired squidskank has everything necessary to provide her partner w/an evening of sweet sensual sea sex. nice lips, ample bosom, and probably some incredible poon. take a lil’ time and give this some serious thought — swimming around in the depths of the ocean would help to keep it tight and you wouldn’t have to waste money or time on lubes. assuming, in accordance w/all existing male fantasies, that she’d be ready to go at the drop of an unbaited line, we are talking about the ultimate partner for those long voyages across the seas.
but, that’s not how things are. in actuality, it is the mermaid that has become the principle object of half-fish/half-woman affection. from tattoos to fan-fiction to big budget hollywood films.
doesn’t seem right, does it? how, exactly can one have sex w/a mermaid…
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New Url For Y’all
so, i’ve settled upon at.yamomzcrib.com. audibly, at (dot) yamomzcrib dot com. ((those single parentheses, that’s a de-emphasis. these double ones, that’s kinda like an aside. )) the at yamomzcrib jokes will persist, of course, it’s the entire reason this url exists. so, i will continue to watch the pron, get my kicks buffed and take massive cloggers at yamomzcrib.
(dot com that is.)