What is summertime w/out bright jubilant colors? Our trip to Hawaii provided the opportunity for me to down a half&half of Young’s Chocolate Stout and Lindemans Lambic Framboise. at the time, my girl was rockin’ a cream/ brown/ red frock. i guess my bevvy was inspired.
so, this summer, i suggest you drink what you wear, or, what s/he’s wearing. hit me up (in the comments) about drinks to match the dress. in the meantime, LISTEN </khaled> to colors, c.o.l.o.u.r.s., & rainbow colors.
in short, viking style is the act of perching atop a cistern and vomiting downward betwixt one’s feet into the bowl below. one sits in a position similar to “an upper decker” —. as invention sends it’s mother’s day cards to necessity, i’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that this technique was not developed by a think tank, brainjar, or amadeus cho. to put it simple ((cue epmd – “too much to drink”))…
so, after stompling ((stompling is the act of confidently stumbling through a club. it typically occurs immediately after stumbling from drink then attempting to “play it off” by stompling on purpose as if you were faking the first stumble. this is similar to the light jog that breaks out after people trip while walking on public streets.)) around the five spot for god knows how many minutes, i got that wayne’s world squiggly line feeling emitting from my stomach area. i calmly walked to the bathroom area, knowing the puke was on it’s way and prepared to assume the position…
but, like is all to common in public restrooms, i was greeted w/the muck and couldn’t imagine myself placing my jeans in puddles of other men’s piss. but, the duke of earl was blowin’ up my sidekick. what was there for me to do?
that’s correct, my friends. like the great warriors of days past who could not handle their mead, i ventured to the side of mt. porcelain, and, nay, i would not drop to thine knees and send prayers to thy gods… i would sit atop a mighty throne and pour out a bit of partially digested foodbits into the awaiting chasm below.
as is typical, after such a mighty accomplishment. i decided to rest my weary head and reflect on how, exactly, i got to a place that caused me to climb to a place where few have traveled before. during my moment of ponderance, i was discovered by some of my loyal subjects, atop of my throne and when the question was asked, i merely uttered…
So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see
Sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be
And I apologize if this message gets you down
Then I CC’d every girl that I’d see see round town and
I hate to see y’all frown but I’d rather see her smiling
Wetness all around me, true, but I’m no island
Peninsula maybe, makes no sense I know, crazy
Give up all this pussy cat thats in my lap no lookin back
Spaceships dont come equipped with rearview mirrors
They dip as quick as they can
The atmosphere is now ripped
Im so like a Pip, Im glad its night
So the light from the sun would not burn me on my bum
When I shoot the moon high, jump the broom
Like a preemie out the womb
My partner yellin “Too soon! Dont do it! Reconsider!
Read some litera – ture on the subject
You sure? Fuck it
You know we got your back like chiroprac – tic
If that bitch do you dirty
we’ll wipe her ass out as in detergent
Now hurry hurry, go on to the altar
I know you aint a pimp but pimp remember what I taught ya
Keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart
Aye, keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart
Man, these girls is smart, 3 stacks, these girls is smart
Play your part
Play your part
i wrote 4 or 5 drafts of this thing. i did one where i counted down the top 5 breakups. the top 5 overall exes, based on their post breakup nickname. i tried the tired bit where i break apart each couple of bars and write a lil’ story about how that part effected my life. that line “Like a preemie out the womb” really fucked w/me. like this dude was tellin’ my story. but, anyway, next time you see me, check out the ring.
over at a lil’ website, i used to run a Hump Day Q&A where i would give advice to the kids on all matters of life, including, but not limited to love, sex, and what to do when you find a young lady that loves sex. it wasn’t as dirty as savage love, but it was slightly sexier than a threeski with sue johansen & dr. ruth. by slightly, i mean the difference between a deep tissue ben-gay massage and a dentures on the nightstand, look grandma, no teeth tonsil check.
so, recently, while paroosin’ i came across a young man that wasn’t sure how to handle calls from an ex and felt the need to impart some of the patented wisdom from Dr. Cockinbush. in this situation, he had a girl and got a call from one of his exes. the conversation went well and he wasn’t sure what to tell the ex (heretofore known as “the former”) or what to say to his new girl (“the current”) about the call. now, any of you that are in a happy, functional relationship w/a young lady already know what to tell the current: not a damneded thing. so, “the issue” falls on what to relay to the former.
[audio:gangstarr – ex girl to next girl rmx.mp3]so, after reading Oh Word!’s Tao of TWIB, i decided to get up on my rss feed game. luckily, the good folx over at teh google had a reader ready and waiting to be populated w/my subscriptions. together w/my newfound bff firefox, i’ve been able to subscribe to 34 feeds in less than a week.
some would say, “that’s a problem.”
and, they’d probably be correct.
but, because of this great feeder (reader?, feed-reader?), i am no longer wasting time popping over to websites hoping to find new content. it’s cut down my “morning startup” time by 80%. i typically had a bit of hypebeast, a pop over to the starting five, maybe check the comments over at freedarko… then, maybe i would start working. that’s not sooo bad, seeing as though most of those sites update their content fairly frequently, but, what about some of the other sites you love, who are a bit more infrequent, like gabesaid or smashingmagazine for instance. no need to keep checking to see if something new is there for you. when i logged in this mornin, the reader had fresh new content waiting for me.
much like firefox, my new cellphone (samsung blackjack) and turkey clubs on tomato wraps, i don’t know why i didn’t make the switch earlier. now, the use of the rss reader hasn’t exactly improved my production at the office — the time i’ve saved by my decreased surfing has been almost matched by searching for new feeds and configuring them accordingly. also, because so many sites simply link to the content of others, i’ve spent time going to the source sites to eliminate the middleman.
i added my own feed to see how it would look, grabbed a plugin to improve it, then spent too much time trying to figure out why the date/time that i “published” didn’t match up w/the date/time that was showing in the reader. so, i guess that means you can subscribe to my feed now.
Straight Bangin’ released the findings, then gave the numbers some thought (peep the included spreadsheet). Whether the list could be considered CANON! or not is debateable (read the comments), but most would agree that it is hardly garbage, despite it’s biases. Elsewhere, dkpresents… flipped a remix of a sample. UPDATE: the conversation continues to rage on and turns a bit snippy.