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Author: bfnh

  • top five wrestling moves: tag team edition.

    i am an avid fan of the squared circle. i use phrases like, “tap out,” “turn heel” and “no sell” in everyday conversation. over the course of my lifetime, i have attempted to slap several individuals in the texas cloverleaf and have snuck up on a few of them to lock them in the powerful grasp of my full nelson, affectionately know as “the clutch clutch.” in junior high, the hood classic “open neck, no respect” morphed into “the russian sickle” and i was one of many to tag team like ivan & nikita koloff.

    hopefully, that establishes my ethos (with a lil’ bit of pathos), now, on to the list (w/a side of logos)…

    honorable mention (team) – midnight express.
    the midnight express was just like the rock ‘n’ roll express, except, of course, better. from the veg-o-matic to the rocket launcher, the midnight express had a vast array of tag team maneuvers with great names. also, because of their sexy man-candy gimmicks, you can bet they got the bestest of older worn-out-my-favorite-band-is-touring-on-the-other-side-of-the-country trim when out on the road.

    listen to KRS ((if KRS was a rapper, his finishing move would be called, “the blastmaster.”)) rock over their classic theme music.

    [audio:krs1 – clubs dem.mp3]

    honorable mention (move) – double stomp/cop killa.
    low ki (loki, get it?) decided to change his ringname to senshi. that’s stupid. homicide, on the other hand, has been able to keep his ringname although he was forced to rename his version of the kudo driver to “the gringo killer.” although this move is spectacular (yes!) these two are no longer a team and i’ve never seen them in a match, so, since it’s my list, it doesn’t crack the top five.

    Continue for the rest of the top 5, including videos of violence…

  • aweemaway, aweemaway.

    Young Dro
    “laffy taffy polo clothes.”

    [audio:young dro – gangsta.mp3]

    in the above track, youthful droseph provides a fantastic example of free association. best thang smokin’ also has some of the most delectable & colorful (pun intended) uses of language in recent memory.

    • orange like the chico stick
    • wrist pinker than miss piggy
    • sour apple green jolly rancher icon
    • viper look like apple food.
    • ice look like raspberry
      and, my favorite…
    • car flop purple when the sun come, when it get dark, man that thing be lookin’ drum plum

    seriously, me and dro could do this for days. it’s quite obvious that dro is a lover of Colour. i wonder if he has a username over there. i’d love to check the names on a few of his palletes. like, what’s the hex code for a tokyo diamond?

    another reason to support barely aged hydroponic is because he makes mutliple mentions to talapia. ever the trend setter, slightly younger than you might think prolly does this because he enjoys the flavor, not because it’s cool to rhyme about plates of fish, irregardless of it’s an emcee’s favorite dish.

    [audio:EricBRakim – PaidInFull (Seven Minutes Of Madness).mp3]

  • Be Specific

    So, i stumbled upon the cleavage blog during my constant pursuit of fantastical funbags. Recently, the cleavage blog guy updated w/links to a few other sites that specialize in providing very specific content. It’s kinda like a new millenium Fat Chicks in Party Hats, but, obviously way easier on the eyes.

  • top five bra-alternatives.

    we’ve all seen the photos in our various men’s magazines… a woman goes sans top but uses some sort of prop ((this photo is from the “Shooting Tabatha” website, one of the best sites i came across years ago.)) to hide her nipples/areola so that the mag can still sit on the shelves at your local Barns & Noble w/out the shame of a polybag. it’s a fantastic technique that gives you more boob for your buck and makes the photographer seem creative even if that creativity is only being used as an excuse to get some air on those puppies.

    Jessica White Edge

    Honorable Mention: the surface-bra.
    whether up against a wall, mirror ((it should go without saying, but, when you see that red line and the “NSFW” image, that means that if you are currently at work, you might not want to click the link.)) or the convenient edge of a well cropped photo, the use of an obstructing surface is quite possibly the “classiest” way to take the topless pic. it’s a tasteful way to leave a lil’ to the imagination, unless, of course, we’re talking about our girl Coco .

    5. the belt-bra.
    the first cover ((remember splash pages? of course you do. some of you still rock them. i loved splashed pages. i’ve got all of mine saved on my backup site.)) of my first dotcom was to feature this fantastic belt bra picture of Hollywood of G.L.O.W. fame. instead, i decided to mimic the chromium covers of my comic book collecting days. i learned a fantastic lesson — belt-bras are a fantastic idea but are difficult to execute correctly in real life w/out looking like a complete idiot. not only is it something that looks better in anime/hentai settings but also on women w/substantially less boobage than i prefer.

    Continue for the rest of the top five, including pics of boobies!

  • cognitive dissonance.

    Benoit and Guerrero

    cognitive dissonance explained.
    cognitive dissonance in action.

    it’s interesting to see how people (publicly) deal with information as it becomes available. it’s almost like seeing the actual wheels inside people’s minds turn to formulate the next thought. cognitive dissonance is one of those things i new existed before i had a psycho.jargon term to latch onto.

    personally? i’m puting off “dealing” w/how i feel about the whole thing until i get all the details. my intial thought, like some of those linked to above was “what in the fuckin fuck!” but this “wait for the details thing” is good shit. coping through analysis — it’s like skipping directly to stage 5.

  • what if Adam “Pacman” Jones replaced Bob Barker on The Price is Right?

    Barker Punches Happy
    Barker and Pacman:
    more in Common than you might think.

    In addition to a new host, their would need to be a few changes to the core elements of the gameshow. One of the first things necessary would be a nighttime broadcast and at least a PG-13 rating.

    Contestant’s row would be replaced by “In the VIP.” Maybe the theme song could use a remix as well.
    [audio:lord-digga-my-flows-is-tight.mp3]

    Although Bob has been slowly dumping some of the classic Barker’s Beauties over the years, Pacman would jettison the entire squad in favor of two teams of “shoe models” named Pacman’s Clappers & Jones Jigglers. Keeping with his sports roots, Steady-Duckin’-Pinky-&-Sue will use the one half of the broadcast to showcase the Clappers and the next to showcase the Jigglers to create a “sense of competition and tension.” The girls will cheer for their individual showcase champion at the end of the show during the Showcase Showdown. In addition, their will be a weekly Featured Dancer that performs prior to the Showcase Showdown.

    And, as for the prizes… nobody will make the cash drop like Mr. Make-It-Rain himself…