that’s a real receipt. i remember getting off the bus. there may have been snow. that store is still there. can’t remember where i went for new years that year. 10 years later. new domain. same psuedonym. life, it continues…

back then, times were stupid wild.
[Click through to site to listen to the song]

notes:
– gucci mane is stil abhorrent.
– i remain a sucker for idiotic bangladesh beats.

For the geeks – here’s a look at the code that did it.

$useGallery = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT meta_value useGallery FROM $wpdb->postmeta WHERE meta_key = 'useGallery' and post_id = $post->post_parent");

if ($useGallery == 1) {

$oImages = $wpdb->get_results("SELECT i.id aID, i.post_excerpt altTitle, i.post_content, i.post_name iName
FROM wp_posts p
join wp_posts i on p.id = i.post_parent
join wp_postmeta m on i.id = m.post_id and m.meta_key = '_wp_attachment_metadata'
where i.post_parent = $post->post_parent
order by i.menu_order");

$rowcount = $wpdb->num_rows;

echo '
<h3>other images (' . $rowcount . ')</h3>';

$i = 0;
foreach($oImages as $oImage) :
	$i = $i + 1;
	$imgText = get_image_tag($oImage->aID,$oImage->altTitle,$oImage->altTitle,'','thumbnail');
    $iref = get_permalink($post->post_parent) .  $oImage->iName;

    if(($i % 3) == 1){echo '<div class=\'gallery\'>';}

    if ($oImage->aID == $id) { echo('<dl class=\'gallery-current gallery-columns-3\'><dt class=\'gallery-icon\'>' . $imgText . '</dt></dl>'); } else {
echo'<dl class=\'gallery-item gallery-columns-3\'><dt class=\'gallery-icon\'><a href=' . $iref .'>' . $imgText . '</a></dt></dl>'; }

    if(($i % 3) == 0 || ($i == $rowcount)){echo '</div>';}
endforeach;

echo '<br style=\'clear: both;\' />';
}

For you nongeeks – this is what’s happening in “plain” english: first check to see if useGallery is set, then get all images from the post that this image we are currently looking at is attached to, count how many you have, loop over those images and display a thumbnail. while displaying a thumbnail, determine if the one you are currently looking at up top is the thumbnail you are displaying and give that a different css class so that you can shade it’s border a different color. also, check to see if you’re a multiple of 3, or, if you’re at the end of the images. basically, my goal was to mimic the function of wp’s built in gallery shortcode with, admittedly, a very simple tweak.

the problem: after the big change to the site, i realized i would have to make a change to every post that used the shortcode gallery. my new, slimmer, trimmer 420px column on the frontpage did not play well w/galleries that had more than 2 columns and used thumbnail images with a width of 200px. now, that meant that i’d have to hunt down every post that i used the gallery shortcode in or make a global change to the code that runs the gallery shortcode. because those lovely people over at WP left a comment in their code i was able to go right to the source and make an edit to change the default columns to 2 and that took care of my initial problem. while poking around in there, i noticed a commented line which read, “// Allow plugins/themes to override the default gallery template.”

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but, if you’re skinning said cat somewhere close to a factory that creates cat-skinning lasers, you may want to put down your trusty swiss army knife.

i figured, if they wanted you to override the gallery template, they’d probably have some way to do it, so off i went to the codex to find out the best way to do so. the fourth example on that page had almost everything i wasted XX number of lines writing above, and more, a means of using the underlying code that would mean i only needed to update in one place.

 <?php
    $gallery_shortcode = '[ gallery id="' . intval( $post->post_parent ) . '"]';
    print apply_filters( 'the_content', $gallery_shortcode );
 ?>

in geek, this is clearly a RTFM issue. in non-geek, that says, “you should have read the fn manual.” this was great, i would be able to replace my custom code with the actual gallery shortcode that WP uses. after a tiny tweak i’d be able to take care of my 3 column issue at the slight cost that I would need to change it every time i upgraded WP. or, at least i thought i would until i came across this bit of genius from esmi which could easily solve my problem.

remove_shortcode('gallery');
add_shortcode('gallery', 'theme_gallery_shortcode');

simple enough to geeks and non-geeks: screw their shortcode, use your own!

the revised gallery shortcode sits below

function h_gallery_shortcode($attr) {
	global $post;

	static $instance = 0;
	$instance++;

	// Allow plugins/themes to override the default gallery template.
	$output = apply_filters('post_gallery', '', $attr);
	if ( $output != '' )
		return $output;

	// We're trusting author input, so let's at least make sure it looks like a valid orderby statement
	if ( isset( $attr['orderby'] ) ) {
		$attr['orderby'] = sanitize_sql_orderby( $attr['orderby'] );
		if ( !$attr['orderby'] )
			unset( $attr['orderby'] );
	}

	extract(shortcode_atts(array(
		'order'      => 'ASC',
		'orderby'    => 'menu_order ID',
		'id'         => $post->ID,
		'itemtag'    => 'dl',
		'icontag'    => 'dt',
		'captiontag' => 'dd',
		'columns'    => 2,
		'size'       => 'thumbnail',
		'currentid'  => '0'
	), $attr));

	$id = intval($id);
	$attachments = get_children( array('post_parent' => $id, 'post_status' => 'inherit', 'post_type' => 'attachment', 'post_mime_type' => 'image', 'order' => $order, 'orderby' => $orderby) );

	if ( empty($attachments) )
		return '';

	if ( is_feed() ) {
		$output = "\n";
		foreach ( $attachments as $att_id => $attachment )
			$output .= wp_get_attachment_link($att_id, $size, true) . "\n";
		return $output;
	}

	$itemtag = tag_escape($itemtag);
	$captiontag = tag_escape($captiontag);
	$columns = intval($columns);
	$itemwidth = $columns > 0 ? floor(100/$columns) : 100;

	$selector = "gallery-{$instance}";

	$output = apply_filters('gallery_style', "
		<style type='text/css'>
			#{$selector} {
				margin: auto;
			}
			#{$selector} .gallery-item {
				float: left;
				margin-top: 10px;
				text-align: center;
				width: {$itemwidth}%;
			}
		</style>
		<div id='$selector' class='gallery galleryid-{$id}'>");

	$i = 0;
	foreach ( $attachments as $id => $attachment ) {
		$link = isset($attr['link']) && 'file' == $attr['link'] ? wp_get_attachment_link($id, $size, false, false) : wp_get_attachment_link($id, $size, true, false);
		$currentclass = ($id == $currentid) ? 'gallery-current' : 'gallery-item';

		$output .= "<{$itemtag} class='$currentclass'>";
		$output .= "
			<{$icontag} class='gallery-icon'>
				$link
			</{$icontag}>";
		if ( $captiontag && trim($attachment->post_excerpt) ) {
			$output .= "
				<{$captiontag} class='gallery-caption'>
				" . wptexturize($attachment->post_excerpt) . "
				</{$captiontag}>";
		}
		$output .= "</{$itemtag}>";
		if ( $columns > 0 && ++$i % $columns == 0 )
			$output .= '<br style="clear: both" />';
	}

	$output .= "
			<br style='clear: both;' />
		</div>\n";

	return $output;
}

i’ve trimmed the css and added the “currentid” attribute. the highlighted lines show the code used to add the “currentid” attribute. my huge chunk of code from the beginning now appears as 9 simple lines.

$useGallery = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT meta_value useGallery FROM $wpdb->postmeta WHERE meta_key = 'useGallery' and post_id = $post->post_parent");

if ($useGallery == 1) {

echo '<h3>other images</h3>';

    $gallery_shortcode = '[ gallery columns="3" currentid="' . intval($id) . '" id="' . intval( $post->post_parent ) . '"]';
    print apply_filters( 'the_content', $gallery_shortcode );
}

overall, this was a huge success. i was able to eliminate my duplicate code, i was able to fix the 3 column default issue w/out worrying about it being overwritten in an upgrade and i (re)learned one of life’s most important lessons — RTFM. the biggest thing that i took away from this experience is that you can rewrite a bunch of the “core” functions/tags/etc that are available in WP. one guy even created a plugin that turns template tags into shortcodes. this lets me know that before i go off and try to rewrite history, a little more time on teh googz can stop me from having to cut ~30 lines of code down to five. now all i’ll need is someone to draw me a picture of a cat skinning laser factory and this might be a perfect post.

The goals: Resize images to proper width and expand the main column on single pages so that they could take advantage of the larger images. Decided to create a shortcode that could take a unique identifier and return the medium sized or large sized image to take full advantage of the size of the layout. Also, dynamically pull the alt/title tag information from the db and allow that to be overridden by an inline param.

The code:

function smarterImage($atts, $content = null) {
   global $wpdb;
   extract( shortcode_atts( array(
      'imgid' => '0',
      'imgsize' => 'medium',
      'class' => '',
      'alt' => ''
      ), $atts ) );

   if (is_single()) { $imgsize = 'large'; }
   $imgclass = $class;
   $imgstring = wp_get_attachment_image($imgid, $imgsize, false);
   $imgsource = wp_get_attachment_image_src($imgid, $imgsize, false);
   $imgtitleqs = "select post_title, post_excerpt from wp_posts where id = $imgid";
   $imgtitleq = $wpdb->get_row($imgtitleqs);

   if (strlen($alt) > 0 ) {
		$imgtitle = $alt;
   } elseif (strlen($imgtitleq->post_excerpt) > 0 ) {
		$imgtitle = $imgtitleq->post_excerpt;
   } else {
		$imgtitle = $imgtitleq->post_title;
   }

   return '<img width="'. $imgsource[1] .'" height="'. $imgsource[2] .'" src="'. $imgsource[0] .'" class="attachment-'. $imgsize .' '. $imgclass .'" alt="" title="'. $imgtitleo .'" />';
}
add_shortcode("sImage", "smarterImage");

Usage:
[sImage imgid=”1467″ class=”" alt=”"]

The imgid is required, all other attributes are optional.

Additional Notes: As with all other redesigns, I used the great Regenerate Thumbnails to create the new medium and large sized images. I also learned a good deal about shortcodes from Smashing’s piece on Mastering Shortcodes.

The best way to see how the shortcode works is to view the front page, or one of the previous pages and compare it to how a single page looks. take a look at how the post dynamically substitutes a max-width 420px image for a max-width 720px image. It’s easiest to see it with a post from the on repeat category.

if you’ve been here in the past month, you’ve seen the updated theme on.hiatus based off of the fantastic simplr.  i wanted something clean that prominently displayed twitter, last.fm & my google reader suggestions. mostly because i update those places way more than this one.

i will prolly update the front page so that i show more than just my latest on: repeat song, but, truthfully, i’m interested in how people navigate the site when traditional blog methods aren’t available.  so far, i’ve realized, they don’t.

no matter – coming soon: top 5 street fighter dbags, top 5 silfs & a song or two that’s stuck in my head.

i got the link from sleevage {src}, which is a great site in and of itself.

the greatest inspiration for this site has always been technology.  from the first post (using audioplayer) to this latest one (a discussion of how to use high and low tech to achieve a goal) it’s always been “that new thing” which inspires the posts. even the hoesinthesameclothes post was an excuse to use the new gallery tag.

i suppose that’s a way of explaining the dearth of posts recently, and, to announce, tech will reverse that.

[Click through to site to listen to the song]
you better haul ass, cuz…

so, after taking a look at a few really impressive blogs, i made the decision to switch over to a tumblr-esque formatted blog. i’d truly like to update more often, but i feel like the REALLY BIG updates shouldn’t share the same space as the lil’ tiny ones.

this, of course, means that i’ll have to get to work on a proper format. that showcases top 5s, my recommended links, and the daily ongoing braindump that i’m sure you 3 or 4 readers come here for. the goal — first, a weekly update, then a daily update like this diligent fellow.

[Click through to site to listen to the song]
half mandrill, half mandela

UPDATED:
looks like the good folx over at okp combined with onsmash to deliver a video for us all.

i’ve probably used the phrase “content drives design” at least a thousand times or so when discussing “doing websites” for people. i typically throw it out there as a means of discerning how serious people are about creating a site and as an attempt to not do a site for that person. sites are interesting ideas but when it comes down to generating content, people typically kinda, well, yeah…

i should know, i’ve had this site since ’01 and a domain in my name since ’99 and i’ve generated enough content to fill a fly’s navel. although being a fairly prolific writer over certain points in my life, those spurts of brilliance production typically amounted to “responding to lots of posts on other people’s messageboards.”

i’ve used a couple of different tools over the years to capture my ongoing commentary. the first was a custom CF script that i wrote for myself. i’ve also used movable type and now use WordPress. i first used MT because i wanted to learn something different than CF. MT was cool, but, after stepping away from updating i “switched” to WordPress because of the one-click install offered by my hosting company. because my host has eliminated basically all of my effort to setup a mysql database, upgrade my files and all the other garbage that can become a hassle, i’ve been able to spend more time installing plugins, hacking themes, and adding functionality via custom fields and conditional tags.

over the course of time i’ve noticed something that i never thought of before — the addition of certain plugins offered me the ability to write in new ways. this completely goes against my basic beliefs that writing determines tools. the footnotes plugin stands out as one of those things that took something from my natural writing style (the usage of double parentheses) and transformed it into proper clickable footnotes. so, after i turned footnotes on, i needed to style those footnotes, which got me digging around in the css for my template.

my post about fantastical boobage led me to creating a new class that would alert my readers that the links may lead them to a place that their employer wouldn’t be in full support of. i haven’t put too much effort into styling nsfw thumbnails, but, i guess if you can’t tell already by the thumbnail, then, a special shade of red border isn’t going to be much of a deterrent, anyway. having a class let me feel more comfortable inserting a link to an image or two into a post, even if it didn’t _exactly_ fit the mood of the current discussion, sometimes made you go WTF? & of course, ran the risk of getting the reader to click on something they shouldn’t.

recently, i incorporated a section to show some recommended links from around the webz. i did this as a means of testing whether or not it was possible to style an rss feed coming from another location. with the help of simplepie, i was able to setup a pretty nice “read” section for my frontpage. i decided to launch it, because even though i am “doing” stuff for my site, some people that might come by for some of this bfnh branded entertainment might also want to check out some bfnh approved reading whilst in the midst of a lull from hand crafted bfnh texticular products ™.

anyway, this is all to say, i will be adding a “Not really here” section where i link you to places around the nets where i have left comments. currently, i am using a tag that i have configured inside of google reader (which takes care of comments left on subscribed sites) and i will be combining that w/some agressive social bookmarking (maybe, i don’t know, i don’t post to forums that often) from a site to be named later. although this won’t be more “original” content created specifically for this site, it will provide more content, and such will necessitate a new design.

so, which is the chicken and which is the egg?
and, of course, which one comes first?
it’s whatever.
the goal is what’s most important.

the goal is to give you more bfnh. and more bfnh is what you will have — whether through posts, notes or comments. like, this discussion of manly drinks & desserts or this recent piece of irresistible about chunking the deuce in plubilc.

i’ve been trying to come up w/an interesting favicon for awhile. the fact that i was iconless has been slapping me in the face since i made the firefox switch. although i’ve been playing around w/some text that recalled the glory days of Yo! MTV Raps, trying to convert graff text & polka dots to a 16X16 square just didn’t come off as nice as i wanted it to.

eventually, i think i’ll remix the icon to include some of the polka elements, and, of course, the colors are gonna switch up when i decide to give the site mezzoblue treatment, but i think i actually like the placement of the pixels.

like basically everything else i do, i was fairly underwhelmed w/the finished product in comparison to the process, so, hopefully it’ll (re)grow on me.

i’ve familiarized myself w/this wordpress thing enough to be able to alter the theme and get the audio player hooked up properly. i guess that’s all i really need to be able to do. it’s (the maintenance of a blog) still about the ideas before the writing, though. and, i have a few. i do, hwvr, understand that the really good stuff takes alot of time to create images for and even links for. see, cuz, at this point in time, i’m a tired(lazy) bastid.

see that kid up there in the header? that’s her everyday steez (arms folded, like, “whu?”). whether she wants something out of the fridge or one of those cabinets, eventually, she’s gonna wyle out on me, and that doesn’t leave the time i once had to crafting fantastic postings. but, i promised myself i would do a little more of this, and that i shall. i’m gonna revise some of my older stuff (FYP, Cheater, etc) sooner or later.

that is, if i can find it.